Stopping the People Pleaser Trap

Two weeks ago I shared with you how I am a people pleaser. This past year I have really focused on breaking that cycle. Putting other’s wants and wishes and expectations above my own. There is real freedom in breaking those chains. My hope for you today is, if you are a people pleaser that maybe you can break those chains to and stop living for the approval of others and live for the approval of God. So how did I do it…

  • I realized that even God can’t please everybody.  Some people beg for snow, some (me) beg for sunshine. Some people beg for the Seahawks to win, others beg for the 49er’s to win. God can’t please everyone. If everybody loves you, you have no convictions and you stand for nothing other than pleasing everyone. I know there are things about my beliefs and personality that people won’t love, but that’s ok because I am seeking His approval.
  • I don’t need anyone’s approval to be happy. Happiness is a choice. Guess what I realized? Carry around everyone else’s expectations and demands left me feeling drained and heavy. When you live for Jesus, you get to quit looking for approval.
  • What seems important now is only temporary.  What I worried about, or was concerned about when I was 15 does not matter much now…I don’t care who will be at the football game on Friday night, or what the pep rally will be like. Even three years ago when I worried about finishing Grad school…think about eternity. We are not taking our fame or money with us to heaven. God is much more interested in our integrity and our heart.
  • "The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lasts forever" (1 John 2:17). #quotes #eternity #bibleverse
  • I have to please ONE person. God. Do you know how much freedom I found with this?!?!
  • Galatians 1:10 - Am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God?  My favorite verse right now
  • God shaped me to be me, not someone else.
  • Romans 12:2

There are always situations where I feel like the pressure to please is too big, and I forget these tips, because I have been a people pleaser all my life. It is a hard cycle to break, so I try to remember two things when I feel like I am in a pressure cooker…

  1. I remember what Jesus did for me.
  2. I am going to give an account to God

Thank you so much for reading today! I hope you have a blessed day, and if you are stuck in the people pleasing cycle my prayer for you is that you break free. There is freedom in living for God




8 thoughts on “Stopping the People Pleaser Trap

  1. I really loved reading this – thank you! I am very much a people-pleaser, and likely to a fault. I judge myself by others’ opinions far too often, and it’s been very crippling in the past. Even at three, I can tell my eldest son is already this way. He so badly wants people to be happy and is terrified when they’re not. We’re working to break this cycle for him, because I don’t ever want his value or worth defined by others!

    1. Thank you so much Shan! People pleasing can be a hard habit to break. I still struggle with committing to things because I think it will make the other person happy. Thanks for reading!

  2. Jenna!! This post is AMAZING. I love all the affirmations you shared and all of it is SO true. Loved the way you shared your heart!!!

  3. Utterly correct – you only have to account to one person at the end of the day. A GREAT post – best of luck on your journey xx

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