Faith · Uncategorized

People Pleaser!

Hi, my name is Jenna and I am a People Pleaser. I don’t mean this in a good way, I mean this in a way that I have let other people dictate my life and my happiness because their happiness and approval  mattered more to me, or more than mine or my  family’s happiness. I mean this in a way that it has caused me to miss out on God’s purposes, blessings, or gifts for me when I was trying to meet everyone else’s expectations.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to please others. God wants us to serve and love others. God does not call us to put others before Him.

The Bible says in 1 Peter 4:10, “God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another” (NLT, second edition). When you use your abilities to help each other, God is glorified. God wired you to make a contribution. God did not give you your talents and abilities for your benefit. They are for the benefit of other people, and their talents are for the benefit of you.

Something else that people pleasing has done for me is kept me from growing in my faith. I was worried about seeking others’ approval, not God’s approval. I did things for selfish reasons, not to get an “aata girl!” from God. Who do I trust more? Who matters most? I need to seek his approval above all else.

John 5 44

1 Thessalonians 2:4 Printable

People pleasing has led me to hypocrisy. I hate to admit this, but I used to wear masks. Smiling, everything is A-Ok, I have all my stuff together, my life is perfect, my home is perfect, my kids are perfect, I am perfect…even my marriage is perfect. Awhile back, Brandon and I were having some struggles, we kept this to ourselves but when I reached out to  family, they were absolutely shocked and said “how can that be? Your Facebook looks happy. We don’t believe this.” Please know, Brandon and I have a great marriage and we are very happy, but it is real life. Nothing is perfect in real life. We have our struggles. That conversation was a HUGE wakeup call for me. I would never want someone to feel like I have it all together, have a perfect life, or never have struggles.

Luke 16:15

Wearing a mask of perfection takes away from my integrity. Integrity is more important than popularity. Thankfully God knows my heart. When we wear masks, we fake it. It silences my witness. The desire to fit in leaves us silent. Who around me would hear about Jesus if I wasn’t afraid of what others thought?

If you are still with me, thank you for reading as I just dumped my heart and faults out. On November 8th I will be back to talk about how I have broken the people pleasing in myself. I hope you come back for part 2. Thank you for reading! Are you a people pleaser? Can you relate?

22 thoughts on “People Pleaser!

  1. What a great and honest post. I don’t think I’m a people pleaser because I am pretty opinionated but I do want everyone to see it my way and I hate when people are mad at me.

  2. Love this and none of us are perfect, thankfully God’s grace covers our imperfections. I always cringe when people say, it looks like you have it all together. I try really hard to show all sides of me, no make up and all ;)! I am a people pleaser too but at the end of the day I decided who I want to please most, my immediate family and God 🙂

    1. So true about God’s grace covering us! The people pleasing was a hard chain for me to break, but like you, I want to please God and my immediate family as well! Thank you Erin for sharing your thoughts!

  3. Girl, we are all trying to keep our heads above water! Most days I’m pretty sure I failed in more ways than one…..raising kids is hard, marriage is HARD! Life is hard, but God loves us just the way we are. and at the end of the day his Love is what is important and he thinks we are pretty awesome! it’s grace over perfection! Society/social media is hard enough on us, we have to give ourselves some grace……(trust me I know this is some much easier said then done!! )
    love you girl!!

  4. I needed to read this today! thank you for your honesty! I am such a people pleaser too and I am trying to break it!

  5. I used to be a people pleaser. But something changed in me when I had a child and I grew a backbone — not to say you don’t have one! — but I grew one and have been so good standing up for myself.

  6. This really spoke to me. I have been a chronic people pleaser but what I’ve noticed is that sharing my struggles has been the best way to connect with people. People love it when others are being real with them. Something about admitting I’m not perfect is so relieving and makes me feel that I don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations. Wonderful post!

    1. I agree so much with what you said Shan! It is so refreshing when you can take the mask off and be real! It does make me feel like I’m not having to live up to any expectations. My best friendships are formed that way! Thank you so much for reading and stopping by!

  7. This is such a wonderful thing to write about – brave and honest too! Sadly I am often too much of the opposite of a people pleaser – I can be brutally protective of the family and too honest for people, too standoffish or apart. I LOVED the bible passage you quoted Luke 1615 – it is too true, especially regarding material things. Hey I will join you in being honest – I am not popular (I don’t have many friends), I have on occasion struggled in marriage in the past, I can be too vain. There we go 😉 You encourage us all to challenge our follies! J xx

    1. I wish I had a bigger backbone. I am really working on being able to stand up for myself so hearing this makes me feel so hopeful. I think that is such a gift, to be able to stand up for yourself. Thank you so much for your encouragement Joanne!

  8. I just ran across your blog. This was the first one I read. I can soo relate! “Who around me would hear about Jesus if I wasn’t afraid of what others thought..” I needed to hear this!
    ❤️ Taylor

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