Having an Intentional Marriage


Yesterday Brandon and I celebrated 13 years of marriage! I love Brandon more today than I ever have, and I know tomorrow that I will wake up loving him even more than today. God is good like that. God is also faithful, because our marriage (like all marriages) has had its rough spots, but because of God’s love and faithfulness, Brandon and I make it through the rough times. Because we have built our marriage on the firm foundation of God and His promises (and He does say we will go through trials), we know that God will also stand with us faithfully. Brandon has seen me at my worst, Brandon has seen me at my best. He has been by my side through my darkest days, and he has been by my side through my best days. Brandon is my rock, the person I turn to, the one in my corner, and I know I am that to him as well. I thought it would be fun to share with you some of the ways in which we are intentional about our marriage….

  • Date Night…When our babies were young it seemed like life revolved around them. Date nights were few and far between. When you are in the trenches of raising babies, date nights might look like pizza and the couch with The Office. Date nights became a negotiable. However, we have now made them a non-negotiable.  We have been very intentional about setting a date night each week and sticking to it. Sometimes it’s hitting a bucket of balls at the driving range, sometimes it’s hitting up Sonic’s Happy Hour and going for a little drive to look at dream houses. Sometimes it’s fancy dinners out or a trip to a new brewery. Whatever it is, we know that each week we get alone time, just the two of us.
  • Serve each other…Brandon, without fail, each morning makes and brings me my first coffee of the day. I don’t have to ask, he just joyfully serves me. In turn, I always dish him up first at dinner and serve him. He fuels my car up and takes it through the wash and makes sure that I have my oil changed, I make sure he has clean clothes and matched socks.
  • Carry the yoke, make your burdens light…I load the dishwasher at night, Brandon unloads it in the morning. I sweep and mop, he vacuums. We are very intentional about helping out with housework because not only does it get done faster, is there anything hotter than your husband cleaning? Ladies am I right?!?!
  • No cell phones…We have an unspoken cell phone rule in our home. We really are not on our phones much. If one of us is talking and the other person is on their phone, we put our phones down to really listen. We are big on not being on our phones during dinner too. I think we all just want to be heard, Brandon started doing this (putting his phone down when I would talk) and I started mirroring that.
  • Read the Bible together…Every night Brandon and I read the Bible together. We read two or four chapters (alternating) out of the New Testament each night. We both have different versions of the Bible and love listening to the translations and how they differ.
  • Pray together…This one is huge. We pray our guts out! That sounds funny, but we really do. I am an anxious person and I know that I can text Brandon that I am feeling anxious and I know he is praying for me. I do the same for him. We also pray for each other out loud with each other. This happens before our Bible reading. Praying out loud can be intimidating, but being intentional about it has made us both more comfortable.
  • Sit…I might not like Vietnam documentaries but I do love Brandon so I will sit through some shows I find boring just because I love being with my man. Brandon might not like the Real Housewives, but he will rub my feet and listen to Teressa Guidice scream and flip a table over just because he likes being with me.
  • Share experiences…Brandon and I are very intentional about building our friendship. When our kids are grown and gone, we are going to be having just as much fun together because we have been intentional about building our friendship and relationship now. We have been investing in each other for over 15 years. Golfing, WSU football games, concerts, trying out new restaurants, and exploring new cities, fishing, going for mountain drives, and even going to bed at 8:00 just to watch TV build a friendship.

How are you and your spouse intentional with each other? How long have you been married? What was the best piece of marriage advice you received? Thank you for reading!


10 thoughts on “Having an Intentional Marriage

  1. This is everything. Great reminders for me especially after spending more time together in the summer – it’s easy to let busyness of school year undo some of the good habits of an intentional marriage.

    1. So true about the beginning of the school year. I really feel like when it is a busy season for one person, the other person always has to do some adjusting which can be hard.

  2. I love this. Marriages aren’t easy and they certainly take work. But it takes both to make it work. Brian and I have a great marriage, is it always easy? No. We’re each others best friends and know each other inside and out. I’m like you, I may not like a certain show he is watching, but I will sit through it with him, because I know if my show were on he would do the same.

    Happy Anniversary to you and Brandon!!

  3. Happy 13 years!! What great advise! Ben and I are BIG on date night too! It is so important to us!

  4. Happy Anniversary! I love these sweet reminders. I am terrible about keeping track of all I do and measuring it against Keith’s input and that always gets me in trouble. No marriage is perfect but knowing you are in it together and no matter what you will work hard to keep the fires burning (hello yes to hot husbands doing chores!) I believe any marriage can be successful.

    1. Thank you so much Shelly! You are right, marriage is work and keeping those home fires burning is so important. I feel like we have hit a sweet spot with our kids getting a little older and more independent. Happy weekend!

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