How We...

How We…Motivate our Kids…

appy Wednesday friends! Today I am linking up with Erika and Shay. Today we are talking all about planning for a vacation…

Kids! I LOVE being a mom. I soak up every day in the summer, love being home, love serving my family. But let’s face it, in the next few weeks we are going to be entering that stage of summer break where the kids are bored, fighting, whining…the dog days of summer. It happens every year without fail. Here are some things that I do to keep them motivated…


We hug it out. Literally. Maddi and Guy get a long for the most part really well but they do have their days. When they start fighting I made them stare at each other in the eyes for five seconds while hugging and then they have to give a genuine…”I am sorry for_______, I know if made you ___________. Next time I will _________”. Reading the Conscious Discipline helped me not only in teaching but also in helping my own kids how to use conflict resolution. Hahaha!

…Love Languages…

Guy’s love language is words of affirmation. You want to see that boy light up, give him a big “atta boy!”. Maddi loves quality time. Brandon and I have found great ways to motivate them by figuring out their love languages.


We are not above bribing our kids. An example, Maddi is typically quiet and cautious. In basketball we bribed her with a stop at the coffee shop if she got aggressive. Homegirl is now the queen of jump balls. She gets in there to fight. All with a little bribe.


Both of my kids take after me in this way. They love crossing things off their to-do lists.


Oh my goodness are my kids competitive. At night we might turn on a song and have the kids race around seeing “who can pick up the most stuff.” Just turning small things into a competition of some sorts is pretty motivating around here as well.


We talk about goals and then work toward them together as a family. Not only do the kids get to own their goals, they get to plan them as well. Last year our goal was “getting to school early”. We talked about setting backpacks out, putting shoes on the chairs, packing lunches the night before. We all worked toward the same goal.


Brandon gets all the credit for this! I am horrible about giving my kids responsibility. I just do it. Brandon has set up the kids chores and follows through. Guy can load the dishwasher correctly (YES! there is a wrong way to load it) and Maddi is in charge of the garbages throughout the house. They vacuum, they dust, they help with yard work. Something else I would like to work on is adding laundry to this list.

I think it is really important to learn about your kids, what they like and don’t like. What do they respond well too? I know Maddi does not like to have multiple directions, she likes things broken down itno simple steps. Guy likes being told what is expected and doing it his own way. I think it is important to be encouraging, give grace, help them embrace flaws, don’t suck all the air out of the room (you know that big, dramatic inhale of all the air), keeping the big picture in mind, and make it fun. Make it a game…Brandon used to play Dr Mario with his mom and sister and whoever lost had to do a chore. He still talks about that. How do you motivate your kids?





8 thoughts on “How We…Motivate our Kids…

  1. Great advice. We are not above bribery either!! 🙂
    Ella loves her a good check list too.
    Ian is just a clean freak so he is so neat all the time.


  2. These are such good ideas! When Zachary was younger he used to take forever to get changed to pj’s. We made a video of him one night and the next night he tried to beat his own time in the video! I will have to try clean up competitions too but I wonder if it will lead to fighting – he won’t let me clean up! lol.


    1. Oh my gosh I love that you videoed him. Boys are so competitive (even if it’s with themselves) so I know this would work with my boy. Thank you so much for sharing Dara!


  3. Reading this is making me think my kids need more chores! How old are your kids? I love all the ways you motivate and we are also not above bribing LOL


    1. Hi Lizzie, they are 10 and 7. I am horrible about chores…my husband gets an A+ for creating the chores and following through…he even taught the kids how to correctly load the dishwasher! Amen!


  4. Thank you so much for sharing this!!! I love how you mentioned you’re not above bribery. We like to use it in moderation – more as a good incentive haha

    And YES to love languages. When Ryan and I were dating, we briefly broke up, and when we got back together, we read the book at the same time (while long distance dating) to better understand each other’s wants and needs ❤


    1. Thank you so much Melissa! I agree so much with the love languages. They are so important. And I am glad someone else feels the same about bribery 🙂


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