The last three weeks “enough” keeps popping into my head. You see, I have extreme guilt. Christmas Break ended and I thought to myself, did I do enough with my kids? Did we make enough memories? Did they have a good enough break? Am I going to be home enough for them? Am I doing enough for them to support them in school? Am I enough of a wife for my husband? Am I enough of a teacher for my students? What could I be doing better? Am I enough?
I have extreme working mom guilt. When we have a some sort of break or time off of school I want to be with my kids and do as many fun things with them as possible. I want to make memories and have them remember their mama was present. I want them to remember the play dough and the holiday magic, I want them to remember how we spread out big rolls of paper and they get to paint and color. I want them to remember playing board games and laughing until we can’t laugh any more. I want them to remember how simple days were the best. I soak in every second. But is that enough? Am I enough?
Then I go back to work after break and I worry about being enough of a teacher for my students. I want them to remember how in kindergarten we laugh, play, and learn together, how we build friendships and a classroom family that will be there to support them through school and beyond (if some of them are so lucky to create life long friends). Then I feel guilty because I love working and I love my job and I love my family and balancing it all is hard. It seems impossible on some days.
Am I enough of a wife? Does my husband get enough of my time? Do I bring out the best in him and lift him up? Do I do enough to support him and help him? Can I be doing more? He is my cornerstone and rock, I rely on him for so much and yet I am constantly wondering what more I can be doing for him.
I know I am not the only one who questions if they are enough. I also know that we are enough. We need to stop questioning if we are enough. Look around, are all your “people” happy? Do they feel loved and KNOW you love them? Absolutely! If you miss an appointment, or game, or go to bed early one night, you are enough. We need to enjoy all the roles we play, and celebrate how many different things we are able to do in a day. When the guilt starts creeping in, I encourage you to take a deep breath and think of one positive thing you have done that day, and even one positive thing that is happening that day. I know that on Sunday nights I always need to think of the positive things that are going to happen that upcoming week. I stop and think about a positive thing I have done with my family. Then I say a prayer of thankfulness and gratitude. These practices help ease my guilt of not feeling enough. Just know, we are enough. You are enough.